sabrina justine schoonover

you know? i’m pretty feeling kinda lonely. yeah, i have a boyfriend but that’s not gonna keep me from not feeling lonely. i kinda want my family back. no, they didn’t pass away or anything but we fight … i might with my dad constantly, he has a girlfriend and that is his main priority. not me nor my sister. oh, my sister? yeah, she’s like my mom. my mom abused me for thirteen years and now she doesn’t live with me but i still feel the pain inside it follows me everywhere i go. i always get “hunchback” “do you have a back problem” “why is your back like that?” yeah, my back is screwed up … lots of things are. i can’t help that though. i feel really alone now. me and my best friend? yeah i have one. we are growing apart though, we fight a lot now too. am i doing something wrong? is it my fault? are all these arguments with everyone my fault? i wonder everyday. you know what? i’ve tried to end everything the hard way .. couple times. something hold me back every time though, i don’t know what but something does. i can’t tell anyone though, because i’m scared people are gonna think i’m some freak or something. that i’m one of those weird kids that needs help. i’m trying to be happy though, i’m keeping all my feelings inside and i’m keeping a smile on my face. it will come out sometimes, but that’s how i am, i keep everything inside until i can’t take it anymore and i sit in my room and cry … and cry …. and cry. people may say i make things a big deal, but go through what i’ve been though. you would do the exact same thing, promise you. i want just one day someone to say sabrina … your beautiful, your one of a kind, your a strong loving girl and i love you. but i want them to mean it, i want them not to say it because they feel bad or because i ask, i want them to mean it. i want everyone out there to know, i don’t want you to go through the same thing i’m going through … your beautiful and i love you .. and i mean that. <3

honestly, how i feel right now is. go ahead with your “boy” go love you “boy” put his ass first. see how many girls treat you how i do, see how many girls put up with all the drama in this relationship. you don’t understand that you mean a lot to me.